Magnum Opuses for everyone

Posted: July 30, 2025 | Author: | Filed under: Brief...therefore witty. | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I’m confident that AI is having a profound impact already, let alone in terms of being something for people to blog about, but nevermind – let’s talk about magic.

Because we might as well, since that’s the stage we’re at.

I found something profoundly encouraging the other day whilst ChatGPTing.

I’d previously asked it to write a blog in the style of The Lateral Column (you might have heard of it) to see if it could compare. And it fairly much nailed it.

Bit worrying, since I like to think only I can be as inane as me, but this revealed that such irrelevant irreverence as my style of writing could be…commonplace.

And who’d want that?

I don’t want anything to write like I write, and you don’t want anyone to have to suffer reading as you currently are, due entirely to this style of writing.

Damn, damn, damn shame.

However, good news came shortly afterwards.

I asked the AI to repeat the same task, imitate my blog.

And, encouragingly, it turns out that Artificial Intelligence was having an off-day!

I read, and was delighted to be disappointed. It was a lame mimic of my blog, filled with bullet-point lists and jokes revolving around the sort of topics that unamusing people insist as a being humorous. Like cheese (wow, cheese, ‘ha‘ and then ‘ha‘ again).

I really started writing this blog today because I thought of the title and have tried to revolve it around the absurd suggestion of magnum opuses for everyone (like they’re free or mass produced). But I’ve struggled.

Instead, I could cobble together some nice bullet points (everyone likes a list), or an unamusing topic (like irony – what’s that about?).

But perhaps, I keep uploading my style of writing into the AI, en-mass and it gradually considers my blogs to be the example of what a blog should look like, and as hacks (bless ’em) look to imitate writing styles – they can all come to take examples proffered by AI, and thus, therefore and hence….magnum opuses for everyone!

That was lucky.

Sam

Claivoyance: my new side-racket

Posted: July 17, 2025 | Author: | Filed under: Brief...therefore witty. | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I am not clairvoyant in regard to any supernatural ability or actual belief in communing with the dead.

But I am prepared to say similar things for money.

Some people need a side-hustle in today’s (and yesterday’s) economy, and other’s – like me – need a side-racket.

Blogging will only take you so far and frankly the criminality just isn’t worth it anymore.

So why not lean into the supernatural, and why not be openly honest about it being both completely nonsensical and something out of which I’m looking to make the most?

For example, right from the get-go:

“Oh it’s your deceased grandmother and she’d like to say hello.”

Possibly (I don’t know – I’m not clairvoyant)…

“Not the living one, the other one. The deceased grandmother that without question died and that we can’t prove isn’t telling me to tell you that everything’s going to be alright and that you should leave a considerable tip.”

And it is at this moment that, with no morbid disrespect meant, I truly do hope you happen to have a dead grandmother.

“By the way, this might not resonate, but your great-great-great-great-great grandfather is exceptionally proud of you. You might not know his name or what he looked like, but he’s pleased as punch as to how you’ve turned out and he’d also recommends a significant tip.”

I can even be vague if you’d like.

“Also, that thing that happened at that particularly non-specifiable time that you might recall…we’ll I’m aware of that.”

I could get a little wooden caravan, or…just a car (perhaps a wooden one)…and could host clairvoyance get-togethers amongst those that are looking for hope from someone distinctly unqualified to provide some, albeit at remarkable value for money.

Bargain hope – you need crystal balls to dish that kind of humanity out.

“Now, let me deal my tarot cards.

“Will it be Death, will it be Love?

“Ah, the Pick Up 5 Uno card. That’s worse than Death and Love, but at least Napoleon, Caeser and Alexander the Great can relate – they’ve had similar bad draws, and they’re all playing it in the corner. They can’t find the Risk box.“

Napoleon would make a tremendous ghost, being of average height in the corner and French – very spooky. Very French. Very average-height for the time.

People might flock to me to hear my relayings from the afterlife, inspired by 100% fiction (maybe 97% fiction, since I believe Napoleon, Caeser and Alexander the Great have all died at some point).

Actually, maybe just one flock, filled with those quite prepared for me to miss-guess their dead cat’s name from 1992 after multiple attempts, or to miss-diagnose your financial worries as gout.

Being honest and open about my lack of belief or particular supernatural powers, might ease their frustrations about the fact people die, including – eventually – them.

They’re just looking for a little bit of hope after all.

And I’m willing to give them that, at any price.

Discount wonder, half-price divinity and “I’ll knock a bit off since it got wet” belief.

Maybe even Bring and Bless in Bulk.

Sam

P.S – I also bend forks. You just grab them and bend them, and then you have that bent fork you really, really needed. Possibly some hope too.