How do the fish feel during a tsunami?

Posted: December 26, 2025 | Author: | Filed under: Brief...therefore witty. | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

These are the questions no one should be asking, or answering.

Even the fish don’t want to know.

And they don’t want anyone else to know.

The fish, they don’t like me so much, and I’ve heard they don’t have any feelings – so I’m quite the exception to the rule.

Hell of a rule. Hell of an exception.

Still, I picture it: a fish, going about it’s business – coming about 8th when it comes to being a cool vague kind of animal. And then the entirety of life as you know it suddenly shifts violently to the left for a few miles and then finding yourself in downtown Tokyo.

Or you’re an octopus, either very busy being an octopus or just casually being an octopus – doesn’t really matter, and then a wall of other sea creatures comes in from the left, again, and travels with you back to downtown Tokyo.

We all know octopuses, they don’t like spending time other than exactly how they wish. And having to commute to central Tokyo, through valleys and past factories, trying to simultaneously enjoying the rapidly passing and increasingly soggy scenery, whilst also avoiding eye contact with the other fish.

‘Tsunami traffic’ which is a cool thing to phrase because it is technically alliteration, unlike ‘technically alliteration’ which is just crap writing.

Would thoughts about what is and what isn’t ‘technically alliteration’ occur to an octopus enduring that tsunami traffic? There are many things that aren’t ‘technically alliteration’ – like my breakfast, which I need to make now.

As such, I’ll call it quits there when it comes to how things go for this fish/octopus.

Maybe I’ll return to it this evening.

I’ve an important blog about AI I need to return to too, but this currently ridiculousness takes priority.

Priority after breakfast.

Sam

Hey, AI – leave sneezing panda alone!

Posted: December 14, 2025 | Author: | Filed under: Matters that Matter | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

I’m like you.

I too like scrolling through social media and finding clips of CCTV or candid camera of those videos.

You know the ones.

They feature the impossible trick shot, the extraordinary comedic coincidence, miraculous creativity – that make us want to watch again but also put down the phone and head outdoors into the real world.

I suppose, for all the sensational terms I’ve used above, the real definition is ‘hopeful’.

Everyone loves these videos.

You see them and you are reminded that life is actually pretty cool, maybe you’ll go for a walk.

Here’s the problem. AI is being used by living people.

That’s not to say that the deceased would make better use of it, but it is those currently living that are, as ever, the problem.

And they’re using AI.

To do what?

It’s not just their taxes, their spreadsheets, or their wedding speeches.

They’re using it to fake those moments of real life that are the romantic and true chaos that remind us of it’s unruly splendour.

I’m talking about, dear reader, the sneezing panda.

When scrolling social media, you may have noticed an increase in attempts at this type of reality. AI attempts at the glorious moments that make us smile and love the world.

In December 2025, the AI in use is still not capable in application to falsify such important moments as these (I’d also very much so like to include the Aussie chap punching a kangaroo) fluidly or effectively.

My worry is that it won’t be long till they can.

And when that time comes, how can I believe that those lovely little moments are real any more?

Those moments, which I personally consider to be the entire point of social media and why at some point in the 20th Century we began filming each other constantly, are the tickety-boo examples of what screens are for.

It’s not emailing (don’t do it – it’s uncouth).

It’s not online files involving finances (yuck).

It’s not web-dating (less-so but still yuck).

It’s not even sharing government secrets with San Marino (sure they’re a tiny country, but they want to know some secrets too).

It is funny cats (you know this already)

It is Gangnam Style (which seems quite AI but wonderfully, isn’t).

It is The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny (Mr Rogers is the greatest thing – confirmed).

It is the Dramatic Chipmunk, Chocolate Rain, Keyboard Cat, Charlie Bit My Finger, and that other one I can’t recall the name of….

But it’s not AI’s fault.

It’s people, as ever.

People start wars, people spread plagues, and people misuse AI to upset the proper flow of funny cat videos that ensured my faith in life persists like life itself.

This is the same issue that is the centre about most people’s concerns about AI – it’s not the Ai itself: it’s some person, being very regrettable, using it as they shouldn’t.

But what can I do about it?

Well, I’m going to use AI a little less often. I’ve taken to using AI to create thumbnails for this blog.

From now on, you can expect some truly awful drawings, made using my children’s crayons, that I will photograph and upload to accompany every equally awful blog on this site.

I’m doing it for the sneezing panda, you, and myself.

Apologies for that.

Species defining imperfections on the way.

Sam