Hey, stop being a dead guy

Being all deceased in the corner over there.

Knock it off.

Act your age – you’re not ancient yet.

You’re starting to pong though.

Yes, ponging might be a sign of vibrant living, but I think you’re being a dead guy.

Is that your coffin?

Oh, you like coffins do you? Convenient and simple?

Well no, I don’t like them actually, I think they’re morbid to the point of you being a dead guy and you won’t admit it.

Look! You’re all stiff. Very inconvenient, what if there was a fire?

Convenient for a cremation, oh yes very droll, what with the coffin and all.

Definitely ponging though.

And you’re swelling, don’t deny it.

I’m not going to get too close, in case your pong pops. Gross.

Maybe if you behaved a bit differently, conducted yourself more properly, you wouldn’t give off this deadness.

It’s all about your attitude.

You’re coming across as someone who’s just wasting their time.

Stop being a dead guy, you big smelly metaphor.

Sam