The Pope has died. I’m available.

Posted: April 21, 2025 | Author: | Filed under: Brief...therefore witty. | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

It is the 21st April 2025 and the Pope has died.

I’m sure he was as positive and negative as any of us, despite the hat.

Coincidentally, I’m available if anyone is looking for a bit of Poping in their area.

I’ve done it all before in a very non-literal way.

I’ve never kissed someone else’s baby, nor someone else’s feet. But metaphorically, I’ve kissed many, many feet. Fewer babies (fewer baby’s feet), but still, I’m very forgiving.

I’m so forgiving, that frankly that’s the end of that sentence.

I’m so forgiving. So there.

Am I pious? More so than you!

Am I devoted? Kind of.

Am I observant of ecclesiastical doctrine? No.

However, if you’re looking for judgement – I’m you’re guy, and that’s your own fucking fault.

From most of what I can see, the previous Pope (prior to me – white smoke incoming…) there was a need for a little bit of change.

What change?

You know exactly what change was needed.

It’s the change that mattered to you.

That particular thing is so vitally, immensely important that it requires immediate attention obviously.

What that particular (etc., etc.) thing was, I’ve no idea, but to be clear – I’m still very happy to be Pope if you’re looking for one.

Can I make a difference as leader of one-point-something billion Catholics?

Undoubtely.

I can ruin things for everyone.

And if you thought the Catholic church had issues now…wait till you see what I’m willing to condem.

First of all – those who don’t like and subscribe immediately.

Second, those who constantly ask readers/viewers to like and subscribe. Get your own religion, loser.

Third, ah I’ve run out of steam. Work in the morning, no one is paying me for this, etc again.

Etc a third time.

A fourth etc, and RIP to the previous guy (I’m sure, really, he’s letting the big-guy know we all say “hi”) but by gosh I just need to log off now because this is just simply, frightfully, awfully, ongoing.

Amen (no offence).

Sam