How to Query, Since You Asked So Poorly

Why is oil the only thing still currently measured in barrels?

Why not apples?

Or wily scamps avoiding the coppers having pocketed some old soft gents watch?

How much oil equates to a barrel?

Is it the height of a scamp?

Is there a young orphan boy with a roguish grin and a pep-step kept perpetually within barrel production warehouses, having barrels brought up to him and his height (his height and him?) whereby a soulless chap with no grin a’roguish and no step a’pepy and only a hardhat and no future to his name begins to approach.

At this point the chap, so much a miser he even hates penguins (especially when they topple over), holds the barrel up to the scamp’s body and emits a: “Yeah. S’pose that’s a measurement of oil for sure.” and then proceeds to simply leave the orphan child to himself.

Now we encounter sadness.

Remember, being roguish and alone is a false economy unless you show what you were roguish with to another.

How do they keep the scamp there?

Do they feed him pocket watches?

Barrels are the preferred method of the enlightened as a means of getting to the bottom of hills, whilst also being shit as a means of ascending them.

Personally, arriving dizzy gives a man a far greater measure of the location than had he arrived typically and…therefore…morose.

Dizziness gives one a superior perception of the room, particularly in the direction you aren’t attempting to look.

My people and I are well versed in the visual layout of the bottom of our more proximate hills.

It’s a preferred rallying point following our hill-top functions.

The top of a hill seems like a mighty place to debate opinion.

Perhaps owing to subconscious reminiscing and a surging forth of prior emotions relating to a youthful victory in the sport of ‘King of the Castle’.

I might argue a little more persuasively and a tad more vehemently under the sway of temptation to see my opponent, most likely my girlfriend, tumble.

Or more likely; roll. She tends to keep a barrel nearby for her gravity-inspired commute.

I’ve never seen her use it for measuring oil though.

How clever of her.

Sweetheart.

What might be superior an oil measurement to barrels?

Litres.

What is the easiest location to shoot fish?

The difference is clear.

Nobody shoots fish in a litre.

Thanks for your time,

Sam