How Many ‘A’s Is Appropriate?

How many ‘A’s is appropriate in the written utterance of: “AAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH”?

Apparently 9.

Is there a need for the ‘G’s and ‘H’s?

Is an exclamation mark welcome?

I can’t think of any much worse than inserting an inappropriate number of ‘A’s in to…anything. I mean- that could really ruin a apple-pie.

You see- I’m going carving at the weekend. A buddy and I go to a patch of woods that we might happen to find. Silverbirch a’plenty. I’m going to take this term to the trees.

Scarring them with a term- from what I’ve found to be way up on the list of pleasant things to do to a tree.


I noticed the term “AAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH” to be an oft-repeated phrase throughout human history. It is the natural human cry- relevant in joy, fear, birth and murder.

“AAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH” transcends dialect, accent and human divisions, even alternative species. Africans, Europeans, Americans, Asians, apes galore- we all let loose an occasional “AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH”.

It suits us.

Therefore- the truly meaningful…thing…that I was looking to carve into the fallen branch I had found, was born. And I think ‘AAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH’ would be a wonderful term to sit on.

Obviously, perhaps owing to our shared and celebrated sense of creativity or our shared and accepted sense of laziness- we knew that we would be sitting on this branch at some point.

Owing to its transcending of most signals of emotion (fear, joy, murder, birth, pain and pleasure)- it has only one true definition that is undeniable to all that hear it. No matter the reason for it’s being uttered- the translation is forever: ’SOMEONE’S HERE’.

And that’s it. It translates as: ‘SOMEONE’S HERE’.


To hear this cry is to be aware that a person (or something apishly-similar) made it, and is therefore likely nearby. And it means this…loudly.

No matter the root of cause for it- the root meaning of it is: ‘SOMEONE’S HERE’.

And who wouldn’t want to scream that?

Got something better to scream?

Ok, fine. That’s a good one too, but I’m sticking with the traditional: ‘SOMEONE’S HERE’. Or ‘AAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH’ to be more dramatic.

This one could be on T-shirts.

And this is why knowledge of how to actually spell the term is important to me right now. Because I’m going to carve it, and I’m going to carve it onto T-shirts.

So, once more- with feeling: ‘AAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH’.

And you can quote me on that.


2 Comments on “How Many ‘A’s Is Appropriate?”

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