When Life Hands You Lemons; Do Whatever the Hell You Want

Lemons?

Nice one.

Lemonade?

If you insist…

I, however, will be knocking the sour bejeezus out of those lemons and over my garden wall because; thanks for the lemons but I’m going to have to destroy them now.

Thanks though.

I’ll knock those lemons into the river.

Sour-up some fish.

Put it on a T-Shirt and promote the hell out of it.

“Go Sour Fish!”

Why not put it on a T-shirt?

There are people who criticize things on T-shirts:

“Oh really? Is that cute little T-shirt supposed to sum you up?”

Yes – motherfucker. Why else do you think I’m permitting it to lay upon my canvas?

Sure my torso’s a canvas. It’s the only real billboard I have and I’m going to have to use it to sum myself the fuck up owing largely to the fact I’ve nothing to utter but: “Aarrgghh!”

https://samsywoodsy.com/2013/11/06/how-many-as-is-appropriate/ shall tell you more; though my spelling has altered somewhat.

Of course I see the chest as a flag.

Let it remain brightly.

So, offered lemons; perhaps you could make lemonade.

I, however, designed a really rather nifty T-shirt and flag.

I think it’ll suit the masses marvellously.

And they really deserve a break.

You need not make just a T-shirt and flag.

One could demonstrate the outer limits of human imagination and ingenuity and go about staunchly and unapologetically creating lemonade.

I’m not ashamed of making lemonade; it’s just that I’m more of a T-shirt and flag kind of guy.

That’s what my friends say about me.

Flags are our history and T-shirts are our expression of extremely personal nationhood.

No man is an island (including the Isle of Man), unless he T-shirt lets you know otherwise.

Should his T-shirt state: “I’m Up and Dressed! What The F**k More Do You Want?!” then fuck that guy and his life choices.

Imagine the scene of the purchase:

1: “Louis! Look at this here shirt! We have to get that for you!”

Louis: (laughing) “Oh come on you guys! I know I like a lie-in but that T-shirts got swearing on it!”

I’m sure you’ll appreciate my “fuck that guy and his life choices” comment.

And although what one wears might not necessarily denote what one is; it is a truth that a guy who looks awesome is a guy who looks awesome and the looking-awesome guy who looks awesome probably has a degree of insight and input into looking so awesome-guyish.

Essential; a funny or expressive phrase upon your T-shirt says something about you.

Hence, therefore and thus; make it something awesome.

Be awesome.

Beats making lemonade.

Sam